I Knew Him by Abigail de Niverville

Author:Abigail de Niverville [Niverville, Abigail de]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: NineStar Press, LGBT, contemporary, Canada, YA, high school, theater, angst, bisexual, coming-of-age, coming out, interracial, slow burn, alcohol use, family drama
Publisher: NineStar Press
Published: 2019-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

“WHY DO PEOPLE call you Jules?” Sky asked, nestled next to me on his bed.

I thought about his question, my mind blank. It seemed like my friends had always called me Jules. There was a time they hadn’t, but it was hard to pin down when.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I think Will called me Jules first.” I stared at the ceiling, trying to find the moment it had happened, the decision I made then. “I think I liked it because what my friends called me was something I had control over.”

Sky considered my answer for some time before saying, “Does your mom call you Jules?”

“No. She usually calls me honey or some shit.”

“Sweet.”

“Your mom have any nicknames for you?”

“Yeah, she calls me Nonoy sometimes.”

“So cute,” I said with a sigh.

“Yeah, they’re all about the nicknames in Filipino families. Everyone used to call my uncle Sky ‘Boy.’” He smiled and picked at a piece of lint on the blanket.

“I think Mom wants to remind us we’re Filipino. In little ways. But I don’t feel totally Filipino. And I know I don’t look white.” He finished with a shrug, like he couldn’t find the words to complete his thought.

“Yeah,” I said, unsure what else to say. I realized there were some things about his life I’d never understand. Not completely. But I wanted to know about them. I wanted to learn.

I rolled over to touch his face. He was smiling at me, softly with his eyes partially closed. Something about the way he’d been so open to me about this part of him made me want to be open with him. To say what I was thinking right then.

I tapped his nose with my index finger, which made the grin spread wider. “You know how you make me feel?”

Sky looked into my eyes and my heart skipped a beat. “Tell me,” he whispered.

I stared back at his intensity, my skin lit on fire. Reaching over, I took his hand in mine. “Like… I’m not this broken person you wanna fix. Like I don’t need to be saved to be…”

Loved.

The word died on my lips

“Worthy of someone,” I finished instead.

His eyes shone, and he moved to close the gap between us, to kiss me softly. The word hung in my mind as I kissed him back, as I wrapped my arms around him. Loved. Maybe I wanted to be loved by him. Maybe I felt love for him, even if I wasn’t in love yet.

Maybe.

When we broke away, Sky reached for his phone on the bedside table. A few seconds later, he placed it down, softly muted music flowing from the speakers.

“So tell me,” Sky said, cozying up beside me, “what’s your favourite movie?”

“What? I can only pick one?” I sighed heavily, happy to talk about something less serious.

“Okay,” Sky said, rolling his eyes, “because you’re cute, you can pick five.”

I smiled and closed my eyes, saying the first movies that came to mind, “The Mummy, Blade Runner, Raiders of the Lost

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